Shadowing the Sheriff
by pikaree1
Summary: Sheriff Rango Dirtt is getting shadowed by a first-year team from Beacon Academy. What he expected: catching a criminal with unheard of precision with the aid of mostly-trained professionals. What he got: a hyperactive ginger who somehow manages to get the job done... but not without embarrassing Ren first. (Birthday fic for Falneou17)


**(A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FAL! So, I was originally planning on a Specialshipping fic since your birthday's the same as Red's, buuuuuut I got writer's block with my idea and decided to write Renora instead. So there I was, thinking up ideas, and BOOM—I remembered the mission episode! It strayed from its original goal, but... Well, I hope you like it anyway. ^-^ I don't own RWBY, please enjoy!)**

When the sheriff of Tocsin Village heard that a team of students from Beacon were going to be shadowing him for a day, he had expected a group of semi-trained professionals with equally professional attitudes. In fact, he had been looking forward to their visit—they would be a great asset if he had to subdue a large group of thugs.

The famous fighter Pyrrha Nikos was okay. Actually, she was more than welcome. Rather than flaunt her strength, she chose to be courteous, polite, and most importantly, respectful. When he addressed her as her team's leader, she was quick to correct him—politely, of course.

The leader of the team, Jaune Arc, was acceptable. He was meek and timid, nervous, even, but he was also tired in the way a leader was after dealing with unruly subordinates, so the sheriff figured that he could pull his own weight and had sufficient control over his team.

Lie Ren was as poised and mature as Pyrrha was, and although the sheriff was a bit leery about the fact that the teenager had no visible weapon, he trusted the quality of Beacon Academy's students.

What the sheriff hadn't bargained for, however, was the whirlwind of violent energy labeled Nora Valkyrie.

She did not close her mouth after she introduced herself. Rather, she ambushed him with questions, catching him totally off guard. "When are we going to beat up bad guys? Can I break their legs? Are we gonna get in a bar brawl? Will there be a Mexican Standoff? Why did you become a sheriff? Are there any places with good pancakes in the village? What hours do you work? Will we get spy gear?" She went on and on, and the sheriff struggled to keep up with her dizzying pace, and he was saved by Ren in the end.

"Nora," the black-haired young man interrupted, placing a placating hand on his teammate's shoulder, "slow down. We're going to shadow him; we're not necessarily going to fight."

Nora looked disappointed but acquiesced; however, the sheriff had a feeling that it was like patching a hole in a temporary dam—the river would flood through soon enough.

"...Ah, thank you, Mr. Lie," he coughed before clearing his throat. "I am Rango Dirtt. It's good to be working with you all." He really, really hoped the bad feeling in his gut and the ominous, non-existent wind stirring his toothbrush mustache wre simply telling him that his wife was going to burn dinner, or his children were going to bomb an exam at school, and _not_ that he was going to regret taking these Beacon students under his wing.

* * *

The village was relatively peaceful at the moment since Dirtt's men had finished rounding up the remnants of a nasty gang just one day previous, so he decided it was the perfect time to crack the case of a criminal who was confirmed to be somewhere in the village. The man was a defector from the White Fang, a peacock faunus, and although he was flashy, showy, and flamboyant, he kept himself well-disguised and was good at fleeing. The police hadn't yet managed to catch him, but they _did_ know that he had a penchant for pretty faces and precious gems. Unfortunately, the village girls were merely pretty rather than the exquisite beauties Ayasegawa Rurito seemed to prefer, and few people living there were rich enough to afford expensive jewelry, so bait was unfortunately lacking. What was more, his threat level wasn't high enough for the government to fund the search efforts; likewise, his knowledge as a grunt wouldn't serve them at all.

Well, that just changed.

"You're in luck, kids," Dirtt began. Nora perked up and clapped her hands excitedly murmuring about all the fun missions they'd be going on. "The town's pretty quiet today, so we'll be cracking a case the international police left in my hands. There's a White Fang defector who's hiding from the law in this town which is under _my_ jurisdiction, but he's not getting away with it! Here, his file." He tossed the packet of papers onto the table laden with coffee and doughnuts that the teenagers were sitting at. "Read it and give me your opinions. Then we can proceed." After all, what better way for them to learn was there than field experience? ...And where had all the doughnuts gone? Did Nora seriously eat them all? The icing around the ginger's mouth pointed to _yes_.

"I have two questions," Pyrrha piped up, interrupting his train of thought. He nodded for her to go on. "First of all, why are we chasing him if he left the White Fang? Second, are you sure it's alright to send students after him?"

Dirtt smiled. "I'm glad you asked, lassie. An inquisitive mind is important for both the police force and huntsmen and huntresses. To answer your first question, he's wanted for the crimes he committed in the White Fang as well as obstruction of justice—he's been running from the law since day one. As for the other... Well, I think you kids are strong enough to handle him," he said confidently. Pyrrha nodded sharply in response.

"We won't let you down, sir," she said firmly.

"Okay!" Nora cried, leaping up suddenly and causing Jaune to spill his coffee on his pants. She ignored his hiss and whimpers of pain from the scalding liquid and continued, "Let's set a food trap! There's no way this guy won't take the bait! Ren, fire up the griddle; I'm gonna go catch us some bugs to add to the batter!"

"Nora, peacocks also eat nuts and berries, and there's no guarantee Ayasegawa will- annnnnd she's gone," Ren sighed, also standing up. "I'm sorry, sir, but may I use the kitchen? There's no way to stop Nora when she puts her mind to something."

"Ah... Yes... Turn left, the blue door on the right side of the hall..." Dirtt managed. He watched dumbfounded as Ren calmly left the room as if these things happened every day.

"This happens often," Pyrrha explained, continuing to dab at the coffee spill with a napkin. She hoped Jaune hadn't gotten and burns...

* * *

"I'm positive this will work," Nora said confidently from her position in the bushes. Her grin made Dirtt slightly uneasy, but he chose not to comment.

The man had many misgivings about their plan. He approved of the ambush element, but the bait left much to be desired—an _insect pancake_? Really? When he expressed his concern, the girl merely brushed it off and told him that it was to appeal to both Ayasegawa's avian and human sides. Besides, Ren's pancakes were irresistible! To prove her point, she had tried to eat one only to get it slapped out of her hand and receive a lecture of what and what not to put in her mouth to be sent into her stomach. What if she had captured something poisonous?

In any case, the team was waiting in the bushes, observing the crowd and trying to pick out Ayasegawa's face from among the people. At present, people were giving the plate of insect pancakes a wide berth. A few children had tried to approach it, but they were pulled away by their parents and siblings. Jaune suddenly took in a sharp breath, and everyone abruptly turned to look in the direction his eyes were directing them.

A man with delicate features and a long azure braid had his hands in the pockets of his long beige coat and was staring down at the plate, one carefully groomed eyebrow raised in amusement.

"And you haven't caught him _how_?" Ren whispered in deadpan.

"He's good at evading and hiding," Dirtt whispered back.

Nora just watched in barely contained excitement. As soon as he picked up a pancake, the trap would be triggered...

The man chuckled suddenly before walking away with an amused smile.

Dirtt facepalmed. Ren sighed. Jaune winced. Pyrrha shook her head.

Nora was enraged. "HEY!" she shouted, leaping out of the bush and launching herself at Ayasegawa. "YOU'RE NOT FOLLOWING THE SCRIPT! NO AD-LIBBING, MISTER!"

The man jumped in surprise before turning tail—literally, judging by the the long azure feathers trailing under his coat—and fleeing. Nora gave chase with relish, her comrades right behind her. Predictably, Ayasegawa skidded into the first alley he came across. The group skidded right in after him and saw him scrabbling up a fire escape stairway to the roof of an apartment building. He disappeared over the bricks of the safety railing just as Nora grabbed Jaune and Dirtt and shot them and herself up with Magnhild. Ren and Pyrrha were up after them in a flash.

There was just one problem: no one was there. No figure was seen jumping over more rooftops, so Nora, Ren, and Jaune were sent to dumpster dive in the other surrounding alleys while Dirtt went into the building and Pyrrha searched the roof in case Ayasegawa had hidden himself.

Nora saluted and leaped down with Ren, dragging a rather queasy team leader behind her. She proceeded to completely trash the area ("Magnhild is going to stink up the dorm for weeks," Ren commented. Jaune nodded in mournful agreement.), but their target was nowhere to be found.

"And that, children, is why he hasn't been caught yet," Dirtt sighed when they reconvened later. "He can be found when he's out and about, but he seems to have hiding places _everywhere_. Okay, does anyone have a different plan?"

Jaune raised his hand. "Use Pyrrha as bait?" he suggested. "She's really pretty, and she's got all that gold on her..." It was worth noting that Pyrrha's disheartened expression brightened visibly at this compliment despite the fact that he wanted to use her to lure in a wanted criminal.

"Sorry, but that's probably not going to work," Ren said regretfully. The plan was solid in theory, but his friend was forgetting something important. "Pyrrha's a world-renowned fighter. I doubt Ayasegawa will approach her without caution. Besides, it stands to reason that he'll think the police recruited better fighters—no offense," he added, addressing Dirtt.

"None taken," the man said agreeably. "And you're right."

"...Oh," Jaune deflated, but he poppped back up, holding a finger inthe air. "Then how about Nora?!"

"He got a good look at her face," Ren responded flatly. Jaune wilted once more.

"...I got nothing," the young Arc sighed dejectedly.

"Oooooooh! Pick me, pick me!" Nora chirped, waving a hand around in the air energetically. After her last idea ended a failure, the rest of the group was wary about her next one, but Pyrrha gave her a polite, encouraging nod. "Let's dress Ren up as a girl!"

It was as if a bomb had been dropped. Jaune leaped back in shock, Pyrrha almost fell over, Dirt gaped openly, and Ren...

Ren merely stared at his childhood friend, his expression unreadable. "...Nora."

"What?! It's a valid plan!" she defended herself. "Back when we were kids, people always thought you were a girl! And remember back at Flare Academy, when you lost that bet and wore a dress-"

"I get it," Ren interrupted. "I get it, so please stop. That is _not_ something I want to be reminded of."

"Great!" Nora squealed. "I'll go get the make-up!" Then she raced out of the room.

"...Nora uses make-up?" Jaune ventured confusedly. Ren, meanwhile, took to banging his head against a wall.

"Why me... Why me... Why me..."

* * *

One hour later presented Ren with his hair brushed and braided, his nails buffed and polished, his eyes complemented by mascara and pale green eye shadow, his lips painted with a paler pink lipstick, his nonexistent curves forcefully accentuated by a corset and padding on his chest (where had Nora gotten ahold of the latter two pieces of equipment? He hadn't seen it in her suitcase), and a _skirt_. "How am I supposed to subdue Ayasegawa if I can barely move?" the teen gasped. The corset was constricting his air flow. Really, why him?

Nora just grinned. "Immobilize him with your beauty!" she proclaimed loudly.

"I have to admit I concur," Pyrrha added, stifling a chuckle. "You truly do look just like a beautiful girl."

Jaune, for his part, hadn't yet fainted from surprise. "Wait, that's really Ren, and he's still a guy?!" he demanded. "You didn't use any magic voodoo mumbo jumbo? I mean-" He broke off into splutters before finally waving a hand vaguely at Ren's chest.

"Padding, Jaune," Nora said wisely. "Little Dusty snuck some from his sister's room." A small boy, his hair the same mousy brown as Sheriff Dirtt's, peeked into the room from the doorway and gave a tiny, bashful wave. Dirtt facepalmed. Ren guessed from there that Dirtt's children had also supplied the corset and the clothes, and he cursed the daughter for her fashion sense. Nora had _plucked_ his _leg hairs_ to force him into the above-knee-length skirt. He loved his friend, he really did, but sometimes her antics utterly exasperated and horrified him. Besides, why were the clothes even his size?

"So Ayasegawa takes his afternoon tea at the cafe across the street, correct?" Ren asked tiredly, pinching the bridge of his nose. Nora gave an enthusiastic nod and thumbs up.

"We'll be in the bushes as back-up!" she assured him, grinning. "Now get in there and make sure to get an outdoor table!" She gave him a helpful shove outside to emphasize her point.

"I can't _believe_ he has tea right across from a police station," Ren grumbled as he made his way to the cafe, Jaune right behind him. More importantly, how on Remnant did Pyrrha fight in her stilettos...? He had enough trouble with walking alone!

"...At least this makes our job sort of easier...?" Jaune suggested weakly. "Um, dude, you're letting this get to you way too much..."

"Jaune, they put me in a _skirt_ ," Ren hissed back.

"No, I mean... You're starting to give off that don't-mess-with-me-I'm-an-angry-female aura... I grew up with seven sisters, so I can tell..."

"Jaune, I really didn't need to know that." Then, as an afterthought, "The first part."

"...Sorry."

The pair got themselves seated at an outdoor table as Nora had ordered and ordered a glass of orange soda (for Jaune) and a cup of tea (for Ren). Ayasegawa hadn't yet shown up, so they decided to take the time to go over some of the finer details of the plan.

Then Ren did a double take. "Nora?!" 

Indeed, there she was. The ginger-haired girl was dressed as a waiter; she had even donned a fake, curly mustache. "Non, non!" she exclaimed dramatically. "I am the waiter! Uh, Thor!" 

"...I know it's you," Ren deadpanned. "What happened to waiting in the bushes?" 

"They were scratchy," she said simply.

"...Okay, just... just go. Go and get our orders."

"So, are you gonna talk to Aya-whatsit?" Jaune asked curiously once Nora left. The only instructions he had heard her give were to draw Ayasegawa's attention and then contain him.

"If the situation calls for it, yes," Ren sighed. He glanced up sharply, his normally pink eyes seeming to darken to red like Yang's and bore into Jaune's very soul. "Also, if you record the falsetto, I will tell Yang that you are secretly wearing a wig made of her hair as well as the location of your comics stash."

Jaune's jaw dropped. "Dude! That's not fair!" Ren continued to glare. "...I understand, please don't hurt me!" Jaune cleared his throat and attempted to steer the conversation back into safer waters. "Er, I keep forgetting to ask, what's your Semblance? D'ya think you can use it for the mission?"

Ren sighed again and took his cup as Nora returned with their orders, sipping it contemplatively while she remained at the table. "Upright tea stalks... That's good luck. Nora, shouldn't you go serve other people so you don't blow your cover?"

"Nope!" she said cheerfully.

"Uh, Ren?"

"Right." Ren sighed and began to answer Jaune's earlier question. "My Semblance generates... shockwaves, you could say. I send out 'ripples,' and it's actually quite similar to basic Aura." Ren quieted again and took another sip of tea. This was one of his longer conversations with his teammate. Jaune was aware of that as well (well, sort of—he at least had a vague feeling that he hadn't heard Ren speak this much very often) and was eager, happy even, to continue it and have a better heart to heart with his pseudo brother, but time was up. Ayasegawa entered the cafe. It was time to begin the opening act.

Jaune stood up very abruptly and ad-libbed to the best of his ability, trying to follow the general plot Nora had laid out for him while Ren was getting his eyelashes gooped up with black gunk. "WE'RE BREAKING Up..." He began with an awkward shout that quieted to a squeak when he realized that he had captured the attention of not only their target, but also the rest of the cafe. Nora gave him a not-so-subtle thumbs up.

Ren, unflappable as ever, continued the farce with a straight face. "What do you mean 'breaking up'?" His voice was quieter, higher-pitched, and Jaune realized with some fear that the black-haired teen had perfectly mastered the art of emulating the voice of a girl without any prior practice... to his knowledge, anyway. Not so high as to sound false, but not so low as to sound male, either. He was so startled that Ren had to jab him under the table with Dirtt's daughter's ridiculously sharp heels to snap him out of it.

Determined to not be upstaged, Jaune decided to put some more oomph into his performance. "The truth is, I've been seeing another girl behind your back!" he declared, standing up and stomping a foot on the table, arms akimbo. "Goodbye, uh, Renny! We'll never see each other again! Probably!" Then he dashed out of the cafe, face starting to heat up as he questioned why he publicly humiliated himself just to draw the attention of a criminal. Pyrrha winced with sympathy as he bolted past her bush.

Thankfully, Jaune's efforts were not in vain. Ayasegawa was invested now. He had spotted a new face in town, and it was a _very lovely_ new face. The (presumed) girl had soft, delicate features (the magic of make-up, ta-da! Though it did capitalize on Ren's already attractive face), bold taste in clothes despite the tranquility she seemed to exude (options were limited), and- was that the sheen of tears wavering in her eyes, just barely held back to avoid her expertly applied mascara from running?! (Actually, it was the steam from the tea, but that was yet another thing that the peacock faunus didn't need to know.)

He swooped in on 'her,' taking Jaune's place at the small table and totally ignoring Nora. The mustache was more useful than it looked. "My dear lady, what's wrong?" he asked silkily. Ren remained silent and kept his head down, not quite able to fully believe that the ploy had actually worked. "Your boyfriend mistreated you? How horrible of him!" Ren mumbled something, and the criminal leaned in closer. "Could you repeat that, possibly a little louder, my sweet?"

"...Yes. He did," Ren repeated.

(Jaune had by now circled back and hidden in another handy dandy bush, and if he wasn't busy trying to minimize any and all sound he made, he'd be just as in wonder at the success of phase one as everyone except Nora was. Nora had utter confidence in her plan.)

"Horrible!" Ayasegawa exclaimed again. He cupped a hand to Ren's cheek and leaned in closer, crooning for a third time, "Absolutely horrible."

Ren flinched at the forwardness of the motion, his skin crawling as every fiber of his being screamed for him to blast the offender away with his Semblance. Drat it all, he should have just let Jaune use Pyrrha as the bait from the beginning! ...No, he couldn't subject the proud warrior to _this_. She had more dignity to protect than he did.

Before he could proceed to phase two (he had planned as far as judo flipping Ayasegawa over his shoulder, distracting him with a piping hot cup of oolong tea in the face, and stomping on his _ouch_ before holding one of Storm Flower's blades to his throat), Nora let out a war roar.

Not to be confused with a war cry.

A war roar.

A _sloth_ war roar, to be precise.

"KRRRRRUAH! KRRRRRUAH! GET YOUR MITTS OFF HIM, SCUM!" she krrrrruah-ed, Magnhild raised high above her head. Ren's eyes widened and he glanced back down at the bushes, his gaze meeting Pyrrha and Jaune's equally confused (and downright terrified in Jaune's case) ones. This wasn't in the plan. Nora swung Magnhild one-handedly down on Ayasegawa's arm attached to the hand that was attaching itself to Ren's face (Dirtt whimpered at how much the repairs for the collateral damage were going to cost), twirling a pair of handcuffs with her other.

Ren's amusement at Ayasegawa's oh-crackers-I-wasn't-expecting-this-it's-the-crazy-chick-who-tried-to-bait-me-with-pancakes overrode his irritation at Nora's deviation from her own plan, so he decided to helpfully splash tea into the man's eyes.

Ayasegawa's screams rang through the air, shrill and piercing as a peacock's cry. Then Nora handcuffed him, bonked him on the head (only lightly; Dirtt wanted the faunus alive and coherent for interrogation and had promised to buy pancakes for her in return), and they called it a day. Despite being unbalanced, Ren managed to sprint back to the station after footing the bill to Dirtt in record time for his long-awaited reunion with his normal clothes.

* * *

"You did a good, if not destructive, job today, kids," the sheriff said with a tired smile when the group re-met in his office after they locked up Ayasegawa. Someone had thought to replace the doughnuts and coffee on the table, and Nora dug in with gusto. She let out a small noise of delight when she hit upon a jelly-filled one. "Especially you, Lie. What you did... It took guts, young'un."

"It wasn't much. Nora rode an Ursa. Multiple times," Ren said uncomfortably. "Acting as bait is nothing next to that."

"Don't sell yourself short, man! Nora told me you beat a King Taijitu all on your own!" Jaune declared, elbowing him (and being careful to steer clear of the coffee).

Dirtt had actually been referring to the fact that Ren had agreed to crossdress despite the clear misgivings he had and go out in _public_ and carry out an _act_ , but that was okay. If the kid thought he was talking about facing a D-rank criminal, let him. For all he knew, Ren had blocked out the memory already.

"I can't wait to brag about this to Ruby and the gang!" Nora cheered.

"Eh, they're probably doing something cooler, like almost stopping a train filled with Grimm and explosives from entering Beacon," Jaune said gloomily. It was just the kind of thing they'd do, after all...

"Jaune, isn't that a bit... far fetched?" Pyrrha said gently. "It's just a reconnaisance mission, after all..."

"Yeah, but..."

Dirtt chuckled. "You Beacon Academy kids have such exciting lives, eh?" he noted boisterously. "Well, the train back there leaves in twenty minutes. I suppose you'd better hurry along, eh?"

"Gah! You're right!" Jaune exclaimed, leaping to his feet (and spilling the coffee again, though this time it was on Nora's doughnut. She ate it anyway). He moved to leave, but Dirtt stopped him.

"Wait, I've got something for the four o' you." Dusty ran in again (Ren began to suspect that the child was his father's assistant in the office), this time with a small box. Dirtt opened it, pulled something out, and pinned the thing to Jaune's hoodie. "Ta-daaa! Junior Tocsin Village Cop badges! I thought you might like a little treat after a day of working with an old coot like me."

Tears of gratitude sprang to Jaune's eyes as he stared down at the glinting piece of metal. "Sir, I... I will treasure it!" he said in a a wavering voice. He'd show Sun and Neptune!

"Me next! Me next!" Nora cheered, and her cheers grew in volume (unfortunately) when she received hers. Ren and Pyrrha graciously accepted theirs and pinned them to their clothes at Nora and Jaune's expectant, excited looks.

"Well, kids... Goodbye. And good luck." Dirtt and Dusty saluted Team JNPR, and the group of four saluted back. Then they ran like an angry Glynda was after them because oh _why_ was the train station on the other side of town?!

It would later (as in after the Grimm invasion) be discovered, much to Ren's horror, that Nora had brought back every article of clothing, make-up, and equipment that he had used that day. _That_ was going to be fun to explain to Ruby and Blake at their weekly literature club meeting.


End file.
